Past 2 days of you asking 4 advice !

 woah woah woah...

i'm so EXCITEDLY overwhelmed by the number of people asking me for advice. a little too excited that a few of my responses turned into 500-word related rants... 

here's a cultivation of a few submissions + responses that i thought would be better for the general public 2 see. i blocked out names for your privacy purposes. in the future, let me know if you want me to keep your submissions completely off the web (or if i posted one of yours that you'd like taken down).

here we gooooo:

im dating my bestfriend... is that dumb?!?!?! we have the BEST time together and we are absolutely obsessed with eachother. but we are in the same friend group!! such a cliche not to date your bestie.. have i made a mistake? im scared because all good things must come to an end, but were all good so far (6 months) side note i love u!! ur so talented and this page is so darn cute lady!

oh gosh that is a hard one. first of all, im so happy for you - it's such a nice feeling to have your compatibility and chemistry so secure. definitely one of the perks of dating a best friend. 

first thing i will say is: if you're happy, and it feels right, you didn't make a mistake :)

quite honestly, i'm jealous. i feel like its super important to establish a strong platonic relationship with someone before you start dating - even luckier, you guys are best friends. this person definitely has a better sense of your boundaries, comfort zone, personality, emotion, etc.. so it makes the process of getting to know them a loooot less dependent on your relationship, i believe.

also, the anxiety you're feeling about it coming to an end is sooooooo sooo so natural. i feel like that comes with any relationship - yours can totally be heightened since you clearly value your friendship as well. 

assuming that you started dating based on the pretences that you liked being best friends, worked as best friends, and feel romantically attracted to eachother, the biggest advice i would give is this: don't let all the technical aspects of "being in a relationship" get in the way. somewhere i've definitely messed up in getting involved with friends is forgetting to value them platonically. the fact of the matter is that you appreciate your best friend!!! theres a reason you became best friends, and theres a reason you decided to be together. its so easy to get wrapped up in the whole game of "are they reaching out enough? do we hangout enough?". that, i believe, can easily turn into a situation where you or they are no longer appreciating the person, but the concept of dating - which can totally lead to awkardness and hard feelings after a breakup. otherwise, make sure to be honest and communicate, the typical stuff.

p.s. thank u 4 the sweet messages too ;)

so basically for some context, I don’t really talk to guys on a normal basis and I’ve never had “guy friends” except one who liked me 4ever but he Ickes me out. there was also this one guy and we were hanging for like a month or two and he asked me to be his GF but I was 14 and he was 16 so like Nah. OK but what I really wanted to ask is like how do I get someone’s attention bc there’s this guy who’s super cute and he goes to my school and I see him @parties but I just can’t tell if he is interested or not. One night he did text me ab a party but I was asleep and that was the only thing he’s ever said to me and we have 3 classes together. so how do I get the friendship started bc I don’t wanna just be like dating right away or something I kinda wanna be friends first. Also, I will look @ his TikTok’s and stuff and sometimes they’re cringe and it makes me completely disgusted with him lol. how do I prevent this?

First of all, good!!!!!!!!! keep your standards up. never feel pressure to talk to guys on a normal basis. i sometimes feel that pressure, plus it's fun, but sometimes it's not right for you at the moment and you have to listen to yourself. 

also yes, so good to start off being friends. but also... if you don't feel attracted to him when you're watching his tiktoks, don't settle. at the same time, he could be an awesome friend, but you won't know till you find out!! so here's what i think you should do:

you're very clear on the fact that you want it to be friendly first. invite him to come hang out with your friends - if he can, great, talk to him, include him, and go from there. if he can't, with a valid excuse, give it another shot, but if the energy isn't reciprocated, he's not worth the mental warfare. you could also go up to him, find something to talk about, and see if it turns into a conversation where you could see yourself being friends - if not, it was a good conversation, you gave it a shot. if it does..... do it again :)

i'm a very strong advocate of getting things you want done. there's no shame in finding out - it may even bottle up if you keep thinking about what it can be like when you guys interact when you're not interacting. in the worst-case scenario, that turns into obsession and romanticizing (been. there.)

i, unfortunately, don't understand the male psyche but stand for your worth is all i'll say :)

Hey! needing some major advice. so i'm about to finish high school in two weeks and im freaking out. i don't know what to do with my life once i've finished and im worried ill just get bored and stuck! i really want to move out of my parents home because i feel like i need to spread my wings however i cannot financially afford it! wondering if you have any tips for me to help with the transition! and what helped you best? thankyou xo

congratulationnnnssssss!!! thats huge :) graduating is such a nice and proud moment - don't let yourself forget that.

don't worry - i had such a similar feeling this summer. i knew i wanted to enjoy a bit of relaxation, but also not get too attached to that. after i graduated i had summer, and then i decided to go to university, cause i felt like i wasn't done learning. not sure if that's a part of your plan or not but totally fine.

financial independence is huge - it's scary but its also really awesome at the same time. one thing you can do to knock out two birds with one stone is getting a job, part or full time. it sounds gross - but there are definitely ways you can make money and enjoy its perks. the other good part about this, aside from gaining your own financial independence, is it takes up time from your day. you will definitely find it harder to get bored if you have some sort of routine. some suggestions could be a coffee shop (ask if you get to manage the playlist while you work), a clothing store (possible discount???!!), or any other thing that you see yourself benefiting from interest-wise aside from financially. while you're doing that, definitely make time for friends and hobbies. that way, you have some sort of routine, you have free time, and you also have the ability to explore your interests and hobbies until it turns into something you know you want to do!!!! then from there, you can pursue it. 

hey luch i'm completely freaking out over college bc it's just SO hard!!!! i went to a very demanding school already so i thought college would be fine but clearly that's just not the case ad it's driving me crazy! i have anxiety all the time and i can't seem to separate that from my real life bc it's totally affecting my happiness in general and i don't know what to do! dropping out is not and option and the course is simply not going to get any easier so i'm completely lost!! xoxoxo hoping you can say some corny things to me bc it's hard out here.

first of all, I'm totally with u. it's so scary. my anxiety completely took over in one of the first few weeks and i was so frightened i wanted to run away from school. but i didn't cause i did a couple things, that of course ill share, that kept me goin. 

first, if you're super stressing by the time you read this, take a deep breath. cause you'll get everything done that you need to.

what i do in moments like these is make super to-do lists. if i have a bunch of homework i have to do by tomorrow, i get the first class's work done, write everything else i need to do down. and watch a movie, distract myself, and get to bed early. super corny mom lore. but for reals, i'm not gonna get it done well if I'm stressing. taking care of yourself is super super important, you just got to a new place, trying to figure out friends, goals, and independence. give yourself some credit. even try to ask for an extension, if not, nothing wrong with one late assignment - don't put too much pressure on yourself.

but yeah, to-do lists tottttttally come in clutch, because rather than thinking about it constantly in your brain, putting that stuff down on paper gets it organized and reminds you instead of making you anxious. plus, it feels soooo super nice to cross that sh*t off.

it's super important to balance your mental health and comfort with yourself as much as you make time for social or academic things. 

I am insanely in love w my hockey coach, who is also my friends dad. Pls send help.

No.

Hi Lucia! ur blog really inspires me and I love that we get to see a diff side of u that isn't apparent through other social media platforms. Lately, I have been having so many problems w self esteem. I just feel so unworthy of everything (love, friends, opportunities). I just really question myself sometimes and everything around me. I know boys shouldn't be a priority but I feel like its so easy for others while its not for me. Every time a boy I find cute notices a friend over me it really strikes a cord. Ik self love is important and wtvr but how do I not let those moments or others impact my sense of worth and self-esteem. Any tips?

self-esteem is a hard thing to grapple with. as much as i've felt like little moments of validation through boys or friends or opportunities will help, it really doesn't - it's too fleeting.as much as it's incredibly lovely to have these assets in your life, they're all material, while self-esteem is something that comes from within. start yourself off with words of affirmation; remind yourself that you're worth it, and these things aren't sure ways to fix it. i've definitely struggled with that. because confidence and passion within yourself is honestly attractive; all the other things you want will fit their way into your life once you've reached the point where you don't feel like you need it.things that i do when i feel like i have low self-esteem is first remind myself of the person i am, the things i've achieved and will achieve, and that i won't settle for a temporary reminder that im worth it. it truly is something you have to find on your own - whether that be through interests, passions, expression, or just simply spending time with yourself and becoming confident in the relationship you have with yourself. 

okay this one isnt advice ill ask very soon but when is the new music coming out i need it!

i'm actually coming back to NYC this weekend to finish mixing and mastering a song :) after that, its release time baby !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sweet sweet rain

today is a wonderful beautiful day.

it is raining in Washington DC, but it's cozy. I feel as though my past couple of blogs are too filled with anxiety and complaint - this blog post is nothing of the sort.

today I'm so happy, I'm in a fantastic mood. I feel accomplished, passionate, and bright. I feel comfortable, kind, smiley, grateful, and excited.

i got a notification this morning from spotify showing my top 100 listened to songs from last year. they're all happy and sweet. Here are a few of them:

You Are Giving Me Some Other Love - Penny & The Quarters

Woman - Little Simz, Cleo Sol

Seven Wonders 2017 Remastered Version - Fleetwood Mac

Oncle Jazz - Men I Trust

Real Love Baby - Father John Misty

Hey! Get Out of my Way - The Cardigans

Anyways, back to the regularly scheduled programming.

I feel whole.

I feel really good - it's such a nice feeling when I subconsciously wake up and decide to focus on the good and exciting aspects of my life. It drives me to be optimistic and determined. this all sounds so corny but I'm serious!

I can spend this time talking about all my anxieties, including people talking behind my back, people not respecting my space, and the stress of school, but today I've just remembered the fact that "I've gone through this stuff before, I'm capable of fixing it, getting it done, and I will, one step at a time!"

The funny thing is that I feel like this a lot. By taking the time to have a genuine connection with myself and the world around me and its beauty, I take the steps I know that will bring me out of a stressed out or anxious state. one of which, is this blog; turning my anxieties and thoughts into a forum where people can relate and have the ability to discuss similar or different situations is something that truly has improved my mental health. Unfortunately, from the reader's perspective, it looks like my life is driven by these moments, but they truly aren't.

i've been thinking a lot recently about how I'm perceived and how I want to be perceived through the media I release into this vast, crazy, judgemental, but hurt world we live in. in terms of my music, I've been making more and more of an effort to cultivate music based on what I love, not what I think would be popular. and it's led me to such a confident state with my music and performance. I even performed live, confidently, at my college this past weekend. which is something that took a lot of courage to do while living in NYC. 

when it comes to my blog posts, i have a lot more room and space to show how i feel, but i really do think i haven't given enough insight into my character as most of my posts regard my anxieties, mental health, and even complaints. for instance, something you wouldn't know about me unless I wrote it here, was that yesterday, i hungout with my new friends, just did work in the same space, talked about random things, and as I left I just couldn't stop smiling. In that moment I was filled with such an insane amount of gratitude for these people that i simply couldn't contain my emotion. 

sounds like i'm crazy, but this is exactly where I want to be in life and it takes effort.

I've spent so much of my life moving fast, growing up so fast, consumed by toxicity, materialism, sadness, anxiety (i still struggle with that), and settling for good treatment by the people I surround myself with. making a habit of living in the moment, being aware, reflective, and grateful, is something I've forced myself to do. yesterday was the first time that I realized that I had done it subconsciously, and I was so proud of myself. 

that's not to say that I don't ever struggle with bad days, bad weeks, even bad months - I just always remind myself that it's okay that I feel that way at the moment and I'm allowed to, but it can't consume me cause I'm strong. 

it's so easy to feel comfortable in a state of toxicity. it's so commonly practiced within our generation. we love chasing things, we feel as though it's productive. I'll tell you unless it's something that will better you like a passion, occupation, interest, or a healthy relationship, it's not worth it. it's important to be aware of where you are in the moment. if you're not being treated right or being respected as you would respect another person or thing, remove yourself. there's no reason we shouldn't be able to find joy in moments that lead to greater accomplishments. have pride in yourself. stand up for yourself, but be kind in the way you do it; you're simply prioritizing yourself for the benefit of others.

yeah yeah lucia, you're corny.

I am. but I'm proud of it. I really believe that this mindset has helped me not only within myself and my comfortability and respect for myself, but in my relationships with my work, passions, relationships, friends, and foes. 

here's the sweet rain on my window